2016-10-20 10:18:47 UTC
The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade
Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the
curriculum from 2018.
Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country,
the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university
entrees to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn
from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine
if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone
will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be
importing fuel anymore.” Blade said.
The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed
auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would
announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed
minister also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his
office so they can have their skills tested and those outstanding
would then be hired as lecturers.
He also invited witches from across the border, promising them
permanent residents permits. “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home
affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside
South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and
Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they
will heed the call”, he added.
Applications is said to be closing on the 30th of September at
midnight, after which an appointed panel with conduct interviews.
There currently is an opening for 109 witches.
Source: Daily Guide
The article above has been published in various places on the web, and
apparently in some print media as well. I have been unable to trace
its source, but would be interested in knowing.
One source gives the name of the author as Wuraola Omisore, which
seems Nigerian to me, though there is no indication of whether it is
the author's real name or just a nom-de-plume.
There is also no indication of whether the author is writing from
Nigeria, or is resident in South Africa, or has ever been to South
The article looks like an attempt at satire, but it is not clear what
exactly the author is trying to satirise, or how.
One version had an illustration based on the Harry Potter stories,
though the author did not mention the Harry Potter stories in the
Does anyone know of anything that Blade Nzimande has said that might
have prompted this?
And while Harry Potter may be entertaining in a certain cultural
context, the "wizarding world" of Harry Potter is very far removed
from the cultural context of African witchcraft, where suspected
witches have often been killed by lynch mobs, sometimes in very nasty
ways. So the article implies that Blade Nzimande wants to introduce
courses in how to destroy your enemies by making them sick, making
their cattle fall sick and crops fail, by making them lose their jobs
and have road accidents.
That isn't really a laughing matter.