South African Universities To Offer Bsc Witchcraft

[Steve Hayes]

South African Universities To Offer Bsc Witchcraft

The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade
Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the
curriculum from 2018.

Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country,
the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university
entrees to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn
from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine
if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone
will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be
importing fuel anymore.” Blade said.

The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed
auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would
announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed
minister also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his
office so they can have their skills tested and those outstanding
would then be hired as lecturers.

He also invited witches from across the border, promising them
permanent residents permits. “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home
affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside
South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and
Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they
will heed the call”, he added.

Applications is said to be closing on the 30th of September at
midnight, after which an appointed panel with conduct interviews.
There currently is an opening for 109 witches.

Source: Daily Guide
https://t.co/vljWenmyB7

----
Comment

The article above has been published in various places on the web, and
apparently in some print media as well. I have been unable to trace
its source, but would be interested in knowing.

One source gives the name of the author as Wuraola Omisore, which
seems Nigerian to me, though there is no indication of whether it is
the author's real name or just a nom-de-plume.

There is also no indication of whether the author is writing from
Nigeria, or is resident in South Africa, or has ever been to South
Africa.

The article looks like an attempt at satire, but it is not clear what
exactly the author is trying to satirise, or how.

One version had an illustration based on the Harry Potter stories,
though the author did not mention the Harry Potter stories in the
text.

Does anyone know of anything that Blade Nzimande has said that might
have prompted this?

And while Harry Potter may be entertaining in a certain cultural
context, the "wizarding world" of Harry Potter is very far removed
from the cultural context of African witchcraft, where suspected
witches have often been killed by lynch mobs, sometimes in very nasty
ways. So the article implies that Blade Nzimande wants to introduce
courses in how to destroy your enemies by making them sick, making
their cattle fall sick and crops fail, by making them lose their jobs
and have road accidents.

That isn't really a laughing matter.

[m***@gmail.com]

Post by Steve Hayes
South African Universities To Offer Bsc Witchcraft
The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade
Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the
curriculum from 2018.
Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country,
the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university
entrees to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn
from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine
if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone
will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be
importing fuel anymore.” Blade said.
The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed
auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would
announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed
minister also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his
office so they can have their skills tested and those outstanding
would then be hired as lecturers.
He also invited witches from across the border, promising them
permanent residents permits. “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home
affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside
South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and
Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they
will heed the call”, he added.
Applications is said to be closing on the 30th of September at
midnight, after which an appointed panel with conduct interviews.
There currently is an opening for 109 witches.
Source: Daily Guide
https://t.co/vljWenmyB7
----
Comment
The article above has been published in various places on the web, and
apparently in some print media as well. I have been unable to trace
its source, but would be interested in knowing.
One source gives the name of the author as Wuraola Omisore, which
seems Nigerian to me, though there is no indication of whether it is
the author's real name or just a nom-de-plume.
There is also no indication of whether the author is writing from
Nigeria, or is resident in South Africa, or has ever been to South
Africa.
The article looks like an attempt at satire, but it is not clear what
exactly the author is trying to satirise, or how.
One version had an illustration based on the Harry Potter stories,
though the author did not mention the Harry Potter stories in the
text.
Does anyone know of anything that Blade Nzimande has said that might
have prompted this?
And while Harry Potter may be entertaining in a certain cultural
context, the "wizarding world" of Harry Potter is very far removed
from the cultural context of African witchcraft, where suspected
witches have often been killed by lynch mobs, sometimes in very nasty
ways. So the article implies that Blade Nzimande wants to introduce
courses in how to destroy your enemies by making them sick, making
their cattle fall sick and crops fail, by making them lose their jobs
and have road accidents.
That isn't really a laughing matter.

I read the article as one of a class of "satirical" pieces which really
play to and confirm old generalisations.

Many universities these days have faculties or research centres for the
sort of quackery that teaches that cell phone masts kill vegetation and
cause cancer, that essential oils can treat all sorts of cures and so on.
One can get a degree in homeopathy from otherwise quite sensible
institutions. Though I don't think Wits has gone this route yet.

Several medical aid plans in SA now provide a benefit for consulting
traditional healers.

So what's so odd, so primitive, so laughable, really, about a course in
traditional African lore?

[Steve Hayes]

Post by m***@gmail.com

Post by Steve Hayes
South African Universities To Offer Bsc Witchcraft
The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade
Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the
curriculum from 2018.
Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country,
the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university
entrees to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn
from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine
if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone
will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be
importing fuel anymore.” Blade said.
The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed
auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would
announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed
minister also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his
office so they can have their skills tested and those outstanding
would then be hired as lecturers.
He also invited witches from across the border, promising them
permanent residents permits. “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home
affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside
South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and
Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they
will heed the call”, he added.
Applications is said to be closing on the 30th of September at
midnight, after which an appointed panel with conduct interviews.
There currently is an opening for 109 witches.
Source: Daily Guide
https://t.co/vljWenmyB7
----
Comment
The article above has been published in various places on the web, and
apparently in some print media as well. I have been unable to trace
its source, but would be interested in knowing.
One source gives the name of the author as Wuraola Omisore, which
seems Nigerian to me, though there is no indication of whether it is
the author's real name or just a nom-de-plume.
There is also no indication of whether the author is writing from
Nigeria, or is resident in South Africa, or has ever been to South
Africa.
The article looks like an attempt at satire, but it is not clear what
exactly the author is trying to satirise, or how.
One version had an illustration based on the Harry Potter stories,
though the author did not mention the Harry Potter stories in the
text.
Does anyone know of anything that Blade Nzimande has said that might
have prompted this?
And while Harry Potter may be entertaining in a certain cultural
context, the "wizarding world" of Harry Potter is very far removed
from the cultural context of African witchcraft, where suspected
witches have often been killed by lynch mobs, sometimes in very nasty
ways. So the article implies that Blade Nzimande wants to introduce
courses in how to destroy your enemies by making them sick, making
their cattle fall sick and crops fail, by making them lose their jobs
and have road accidents.
That isn't really a laughing matter.

I read the article as one of a class of "satirical" pieces which really
play to and confirm old generalisations.
Many universities these days have faculties or research centres for the
sort of quackery that teaches that cell phone masts kill vegetation and
cause cancer, that essential oils can treat all sorts of cures and so on.
One can get a degree in homeopathy from otherwise quite sensible
institutions. Though I don't think Wits has gone this route yet.
Several medical aid plans in SA now provide a benefit for consulting
traditional healers.
So what's so odd, so primitive, so laughable, really, about a course in
traditional African lore?

Tradional African lore holds that many diseases are caused by
witchcraft, and this can be seen as a rival of the germ theory of
disease, though there may be some overlap, eg in the field of
psychosomatic diseases, and the theories are notn necessarily
incompatible.

For example someone might know and accept that malaria is spread by
parasites vectored by anopheles mosquitoes, but might also say that
that does not explain why that particular mosquito chose to bite me,
and attribute that to witchcraft.

This notion of witchcraft is pretty remote from the whole Harry Potter
thing. Still I suppose you could have a Bsc in arson and stone
throwing to go along with one in witchcraft, the latter fior when you
run out of amjmunition and accelerants.